It's Tempting Tuesday on CJ's Blog and all of you who like to think naughty thoughts are welcome to sit on down and set a spell.
Today I'm blogging again about that most interesting of subjects, talking dirty. But not just any talking dirty, but letting it all hang out during sex.
Now, I'm one of those women who like a little hot talk during the deed, but it has to be just right. I don't want it to be too much, or too little. And I don't like certain words to be used.
Now everyone is a little different at what they like and dislike, so I did some research. And I found some very interesting things out there.
At Men's Health there was an interesting little article about the 10 Sexiest Things to Say to a Woman. It did NOT include naming your penis, which I thought quite enlightening. (I could never get excited about being introduced to Mr. Johnson, The Hammer, or Here's Willy!) But they did have a new ideas that I thought were apropos to this discussion.
1. Using the word "You" whenever possible. As they put it... "You" is the hottest word you can say to a woman in bed. "You make me feel so good" instead of "That feels so good." Subtle modification, but big difference in sentiment. We all want to be special and this small change can make that happen. I had never thought about it until this article, but it is very true.
2. Feedback and Compliments: So important and often forgotten in the heat of passion. Let your partner know how his/her hands feel or if something does or doesn't feel good. And don't forget to tell them how much you love their silky skin, or that hard six pack. And you get extra points for saying it after sex! :-)
3. Speaking of which... After-talk is just as important as during. Another great point in the article states... Afterplay is just as important for building arousal as foreplay, and it takes only a fraction of the time. Create sexual anticipation by telling your partner what you're going to do to them next time. It conveys that you care about them and want to satisfy them. And it lets your partner know they are still desirable to you, even after you've had your way with them. For me, this was the most important part of what I read. Sex doesn't stop at the climax. For a lot of people that is just the beginning.
Read more about this at... 10 Sexy Things to Say.
Another article I read was more specific, stating some of the naughty words you can say to turn your partner on. While you might have to find your comfort level on some of these, I can say that in my experience, the rewards are promising! *grin*.
1. "Fuck me now!" Always sets my senses tingling, especially when we've gotten to the hot and heavy part of the evening.
2. "You can have me any way you want. I'm your sex slave for the evening." Not something you want to do too often or it loses its flavor, but a variation on the theme can always be titillating.
3. "I'm naked and I'm touching myself." Really good for phone sex, or if he is out of your sight. Just be careful that your kids are tucked up in bed and fast asleep!
4. "Tie me up and fuck me hard and fast!" For some of you adventurous types, but a little rope work can always make things a little interesting. You don't have to be into BDSM to have some fun.
5. "I want you to touch me here." (Either say it or point it out. Each has it's fun reactions and you can tailor what you do to how your partner reacts.
Now this tip site can be a little raunchy, so if you read the comments do so at your own risk! LOL Check it out at... Love Honey's Sex Tips
And lastly, I read several nice columns about preparing your partner before the actual lovemaking takes place. Just as after-talk is important, so is that pre talking, the whispers as you walk by, or the brief call to let him know you're thinking of him. These can be as sweet or as sexy as you want, but a little talking dirty before hand can really get things started out right.
Anything from calling them up and graphically describing all you are planning to do in wonderful detail, to walking by and brushing your body against theirs, bending down and telling them you love them or want them. This type of foreplay is very individualized and can be a huge turn on to those doing it. Some ideas I found are...
1. Send a tape or voice mail to your significant other explaining exactly what you want them to do to you when they get home. Always be careful about when and where the note might be opened due to the whole embarrassment factor. LOL
2. Kids around? You can still play. Just keep it simple. Drop a sexy word in his ear as you walk by, or remind him bedtime is coming soon. Do it just right and he'll help you get the kids to sleep early!
3. Before anything gets started, put some music on and then play Simon Says. One partner controls the other with foreplay talk. Say the man is the talker and the woman the doer. He tells her to touch herself. She does. He tells her what he wants her to do to him and she does it. It's a mixture of actual play and talk and can be very arousing to both players.
Google around for these different ideas. I found some at InfoSex, AskMen, and Suite101. And if you know of any other ideas to share, now is the time! Leave a comment with your special tips on how to talk dirty!
Thanks for dropping by and I'll be back on a special day...Friday to celebrate my new release coming out from Samhain Publishing. The Mylari Chronicles: Eyes of Fire.
Never anger an elf... we have very long memories.