Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It's Vacation Time!!!

Hey all,

Just a quick note to let you know I'm on vacation for the next few weeks. This blog will be inactive until then. My FREE READ blog will still be going on Mondays and some Fridays, so make sure you check that out!

See you on the flip side!


CJ England
Never anger an elf... we have very long memories.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

“The Most Eloquent Silence; That of Two Mouths Meeting in a Kiss”

Hey all,

It's Tuesday and have I got something tempting for you. How about kisses, comments and contests???

That's right, folks. Today I am blogging over at The Cata Network Reader's Lounge and I want you to join me. My topic is kissing...yum! It's fun, informative and you might learn something naughty about me as well!!!

So head on over to and immerse yourself in my dreams for a bit. Leave a comment and you can be entered to win a great gift!!!

Mention you came from this blog and I'll enter you twice!!!

Hugs to all and see you in the Lounge!!!

CJ England
Never anger an elf... we have very long memories.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

It's Been One of those Days

Hey there,

Sorry this is late. I've had a car accident, a busted radiator and several freaked out family members to deal with. I had last minutes edits for a submission I had a time limit to get done, the newsletter, book covers and several other things on my plate that were overwhelming.

But I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel so I thought I'd pop in with a quick hello, and a cartoon that made me laugh like a loon.

Enjoy and I'll see you on Tuesday.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

It's all about the Language, baby!!!!

Good Tuesday all,

I've been so busy I almost forgot about today's blog. So I scrambled around and I remember
ed getting this in my email box a few days ago.

I love this. I get it every year and it always make me laugh. Check it out...

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

As writers we should take special note of these new uses for old words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men .

These are great. I never would have the skill to come up with any of them. Nor the time. LOLOL Want some more. Check out this site for more. I often wonder if the urban dictionary has been helped by this contest, or is it the other way around.

If you haven't checked out that site, hold on to your knickers. There are some words there that are not of the delicate. But it is amusing to go through, and for's a gold mine. Check it out HERE.

But since words are what I'm all about, I love finding places like this. Weird language sites, off the wall dictionaries, I'll look at just about anything. Did you know there is a site devoted solely to the different ways you can use the word
FUCK? Now that was an eye-opener! LOL Check out this video...

Language and it's uses are so important and it seems it changes every day. It's a smart person who knows the intricacies of the language and can use it.

So what about you? How creative are your language skills? Let's give it a shot. Let's have a revision competition here on the blog. Choose a word or words and do what they did in the Washington Post contest. Check out these great examples...

One word...

Discussion: n., a Frisbee-related head injury.

One word...

Ozone: n., area in which the G-spot is located.

Two words... Dolt / Poltergeist...put together to make...

: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

Two words... Hooter / Nanny...put together to make...

Hooternanny: The au pair you thought was especially promising, but your wife sent back to the agency.

See how it works? Now it's your turn. Amaze us with all your creative efforts!!!! Can't wait to see what you come up with!!!


CJ England
Never anger an elf... we have very long memories.