Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Is it the DMV or the Bloody DMDon't

Hey all,

This is the blog I was going to share with you on Friday, but was rant blocked by my landlady and her ridiculous internet limit. But I've been writing this on and off over the last few days and took a quick trip down to Starbucks to upload it. Hopefully, it will come through okay.

I hate the DMV. Hate, hate, hate them.  Actually, I don't think there are very many people who DO like them. Hmmm... Okay, just to be fair, hold up your hand if you do. *searches...searches...searches...* Nope. Didn't think so. Wait...was that a hand there in the back? *shakes head* Takes all kinds.

Now before I go on with my rant, please read this...

*disclaimer... I know there are probably good offices and great people that work at a DMV...those that haven't been corrupted by the company's stupidity and general assholyness.  If you are one of those few people, I applaud you. But, all I can say to you is...RUN...RUN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE*

Ahem...now that I've made that clear...

The DMV is an entity we HAVE to deal with. If you want to drive. If you want to register your vehicle (in most states), they are the people you go to. You can, of course, drive illegally, go off the grid, or not drive at all, but if you want that shiny license with it's less than stellar picture, you have to deal with the DMV.

Now, my utter loathing for them doesn't come from the longass lines, unfriendly and taciturn staff or the fact that (at least in Florida) they've closed most of the offices so you ALL get to go to the same one, adding to the longass lines and irritating the already unfriendly and taciturn staff.

No, my hatred and disgust comes from the fact they are the most unhelpful, ridiculous, inane company on the planet!

We all know how it works.  You have to renew your license, so you grab the longest book you have or tuck a small game console in your pocket. Girding your loins for battle, you take a deep breath and walk through the doors. (If you look close, above the door jam is scratched... Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.)

You grab a number from the machine (G129) , and praying for mercy, you slowly look up at the big flashing board to see what person is lucky enough to have made it to a window. Then you drag yourself to one of their horribly uncomfortable plastic pinch-your-ass chairs because they are only on G45.


And you wait....and wait...and wait. And when you finally make it up to the window, it's hours later, your stomach is growling because you can't eat inside the building, and you wished you'd brought a second book!!!!

BUT...what if you're like me and can't enjoy a restful day waiting for hours at her local DMV while she waits to get her license renewed. What if, you travel the world and won't be in country during the time when you can renew it in person.

Well the DMV has this dandy little thing called an online renewal. Fantastic, right?  I was jazzed when I discovered that. That is until I put in all my information, and it told me I couldn't renew online because I had a FLORIDA ONLY LICENSE.

What?  What the hell does that mean? I looked it up (before my internet died) and discovered a Florida Only License was one given to people before 2009 who also had licenses in other states. (Because Florida is such a snowbird state apparently this was allowed) 

But I didn't have a license in another state. When we moved to Florida back in the early 2000s, we gave up our licenses and became Florida residents. I've only had a Florida license since then, so WTF???

So I wrote them. Explained my license would expire when I was overseas and I couldn't come home to deal with it. I told them I was a full time Florida resident and had been forever. I didn't have two licenses, only the one and I needed the renewal so I could continue legally driving.  I couldn't just come to the local office to fix this, because I was in Australia.

Their response?  A f*cking form letter that said nothing different than what I'd read on the website. This is the law. Come into the office to take care of it.  And then a teeth baring, We hope this was of help to you.

REALLY?  Is it any wonder I hate them? I gave them a specific problem...a mistake THEY had made and all I get is a freaking form letter????? Grrrrrrrr.

So I wrote them again, politely (when I wanted to send one my my fire breathing dragons after them) explaining their mistake, telling them I COULD NOT come to the office. I was TEN THOUSAND miles away from the nearest Florida DMV office.

Their second response. ANOTHER BLOODY FORM LETTER, with this one repeating I needed to go to my local DMV and get this taken care of. And the added. That while it may be inconvenient, I may just have to hop over from Australia to get it taken care of.

Inconvenient? Hop over?


Is it any wonder we hate them like a fat kid hates broccoli?

There has to be a better way. When an entity is universally disliked on the scale the DMV is, something is very wrong. But how do you fight for change when the thing you're fighting is so entrenched in our culture, we think it's perfectly normal to have to deal with it each and every time we walk through their hallowed doors.

Sort of like politics... But THAT was last Tuesday's blog!

Anyway, I'm not sure how my story will end, but I'll keep fighting. Either that or I'll be heading to the states a little earlier than I had planned to.  *sigh*

To end this rant, I thought I'd share a hysterical video about the DMV from the movie Zootopia. If  you've seen the movie, you're probably already laughing. If you haven't, I swear, if this isn't perfect rendition of what we all go through with them, I don't know what is. Watch it through to the end. It's worth it.

(If for some reason you can't see this because of my internet difficulties, go to... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0woPde7OE1k.)

Hysterical, right? The writer obviously had some up close and personal time in HIS/HER local DMV!  

Anyway, pray for me. One way or another I WILL get my license!!!  LOL

You all have a great rest of your week. If I have my internet up and going, I'll see you on Friday with the last of my Cabin Renovating Pictures!!!!

CJ England


Phylis said...

ROFL! Not at your plight but the Zootopia bit. In Nebraska we renew every 5 years and every other year you can do it on line. This year I had to go in and did not have a line. It was pretty quick. My only beef is that for the photo it had a pair of eyes about a foot down from the camera lens as in look here but she said to look at the lens. So confusion and I didn't smile so there you are! lol I hope you get it straightened out without having to come home early.

Ray said...

I am going to try to renew my drivers license online. For titles and registration there is an office in the Virginia Beach Municipal Center in the building housing the city treasurers office. Most people don't know about it. I have never had more than three people ahead of me. The regular office closest to mine is one of those you describe. I hate going there. They used to have a drive through. Cutbacks in employees did away with that. Damn the bad luck.