Second Chances: Waiting in the Wings
Follow Your Dreams...into a World of Romance and Imagination
I posted this on my chat lists, but I wanted to bring it to everyone else as well. That happens when I'm curious about something.
Sorry for the late posting. For some reason I couldn't get into my blog on Friday. Finally came up over the weekend.
So, just a quick post. The winner of the copy of Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude is...
It is a question to ponder sometimes. I am on nine different publisher author lists and I find all have several things in common.
Drama. Confusion. Questions.
Most of us set out to do what we love. Write a good story so we can enjoy our craft. I, myself, love to go back and read my own work. Call me narcissic, but I like what I write. I enjoy the stories and I love it when my readers do too. Then, other stuff comes into play. Promoting, dealing with editors, reviews and a myriad of other things no one told you about when you did the rabbit dance over the first acceptance.
I've been in the business a relatively short time. Two years come December. Long enough to have some experience, but I haven't been around to learn all the important ins and outs of promoting. And I tell you, it is overwhelming. All I want to do is write, but in all truth, to do this right...I can only give 1/3 of my time to writing. The rest belongs to the promotion side of things.
It's a balancing act, and when authors on the lists cry out for help, it doesn't matter if you're with the biggest company, or the newest...you are starting from scratch and it's a rare day where one of my loops aren't helping out a newbie.
I know some pubs are more willing to work with new authors than others, but the sad fact is...if you want to learn, you have to do it yourself. Publishers don't have the time. I discover something new every day, but because I love the writing part so much more than the promoting, I have to force myself to take the step to get out there and do what needs to be done.
But...no matter what the drama, worry, or insecurity, we just keep on, keeping on. If you're a writer, you don't have a choice. You HAVE to write. And that answers the question...Why do we do, what we do...
Hugs and have a great weekend!!!
HA! I bet that subject line got your attention. As my readers know, I love to push the envelope of when, how and where to have sex. I have lines I won't cross, but, I'll hug very close to them. *snicker*
I came across this great site and got to thinking...how cool it would be to put some of this into play. So I thought I'd devote today's blog to just that. Different ways to enjoy an activity we all love, love, love!
Have you wanted to unleash that wild side of yours through dirty talking, but haven’t found the courage, or don’t even know where to start? I know for me, this is an activity I've longed to try, but been too embarrassed to do so. I think it's easier for a guy to do, since my hot hunk doesn't seem to have a problem with naughty words and he's on the shy side.
I've read there are several secrets to talking dirty, and I thought I'd share a few with you today.
1. Create the Mood
We aren't looking for romantic here, but naughty. And that is as different as the people who are involved. Find something that sets your soul loose. Whether it be salsa music, or incense, a sexy nightie, or a glass of champagne...you want to feel wicked, but still comfortable. And if it's the first time to do your dirty talking, it's even more important for both you and your partner to feel good about yourselves.
2. Breathe Correctly
Knowing this skill makes the difference between sounding like a #1 phone sex operator, and a teenager making a obscene phone call. Just like sex, your breathing should reflect the mood. Start with deep breathing, filling your lungs and then exhaling slowly. Then, give a few gasps, always punctuating that with either a few moans or body moves. If the mood suggests hot and heavy, go with it. Those gasps and sighs will become quicker, more out of control sounding. Don't be afraid to mix them up and see what you and your partner like.
3. Adding More Sounds
Now we go a little further. Think of yourself as an actor in a play. You want your mate to hear you, but it still has to have that breathy, sexy sound that will send shivers up their spine. So practice. I've been known to do so in the shower when I know I'm alone. Soft sexy sounds, said as a low murmur, way back deep in the throat. Not all of us have a Marilyn Monroe voice, but we can learn to have that sexy voice that can send out partner wild with passion.
4. Add Body Movements
And now the fun really begins. Use your body language to punctuate the sexy sounds you're making. A brush of the lips over the ear, a slow rub of the breasts against his chest, the run of a finger down that line of hair that disappears under his shorts, all in perfect timing with the breathing and sexy sounds you've been making. Done correctly, these move are a promise of what is yet to come and will be a huge turn on for your playmate.
So...as you can see, just the preliminaries can be fun and we haven't even started talking yet! *LOL* I'll be back in a few days with part two of this lesson. Until then, keep practicing these fun little tricks. Your mate will thank you for spicing up things!
Now that you and your partner are in the mood, it's time to put the final touch on your dirty talking presentation. Remember what you've learned so far and then step into some extra fun.
Think about what turns you on about your partner. How are you feeling right now? Get in touch with your emotions and feelings and let your instinct carry you along. If you're feeling horny, say so. If your partner makes you hot, tell them. Be vocal and descriptive, but don't be too descriptive. It isn't an essay. Your goal is to turn your partner on. Short clear sentences are best. Long quivering breaths in between shorter sentences can be a real turn on. And if you add a little nip on the neck or a lick of the ear as well, I'll bet you raise a few goose bumps too!
Next, think about what you want your partner to do to you. Do you want to be spanked? Do you want your nipples squeezed, or do you want a blow job? This is the time to bare all those naughty fantasies. Tell them what you want. Again, break up the sentences with those breathy sounds to add to the titillation. Plus, the break between helps you think of what you want to say. Don't be intimidated. Enjoy yourself, and let your mind and body go. For example a sentence like... "I just want to f**k you until you can't walk (inhale) I want to lick your c**k until you ( inhale, quiver exhale, inhale) explode all over me.
Then you can add to the fantasy by targeting specific things. Choose those things you know will be a turn on to you and your partner. Repetition is used to emphasize the really important things. And be aware of what is happening to your partner. Is his body tightening underneath you? Is his erection getting harder. Are her nipples getting small and hard. Reading the body language is an important part of judging what is arousing to you and your mate.
And make sure you call a spade a spade. It' much hotter to hear... I want to suck your c**k, rather than I want to suck your manhood. *rolls eyes* Euphemisms rarely have a place in dirty talking, but be careful to use words that aren't offensive to your mate, either. If the word "pu**y" makes her furious, you're not going to turn her on, but off. Know what they like and don't like. That's the important part. And if you don't know, then explore carefully as you go.
Tossing out curse words can be exciting too. Saying you are a great lay, may be exciting, but adding a few curse words can rev motors even more. And here is where volume can also add to the heat. There is a time to whisper and a time to shout. Curses can be louder and so the emotion can be even more intense.
Another fun thing you can use dirty talking in is Role Playing. We won't go into role playing much here, but knowing your partner's fantasies and being able to talk them through one of them can be very satisfying. You can start with something as simple as a passive/aggressive role. One of you is submissive, the other dominant. Slave and Master. Cop and Criminal. Pirate and Captive. The list is endless. Once you choose your roles, then get into them. Again, let your fantasies flow freely and most of all...have fun. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree.It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you want to say and in the end satisfy everyone's wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible.