Monday, October 4, 2010

Why Didn't Anybody Warn Me????

Hey all,

Okay... *CJ glares around at all her readers*  I thought you all loved me!  Or *sniff* liked me.  Or at the very least wanted me to keep on writing.  So how come nobody warned me?  I mean there has to be public service announcements about it, right? Some Nancy Regan dudette or dude yelling, "Just Say NO!!!"
Billboards or signs on bus benches exhorting users in the dangers of becoming addicted?

I mean, it's been around for a while now, right?  Didn't they just do a movie about it?  And did IT have any necessary warnings about how if you start using it, you will become addicted?

And here I thought I was too strong for this type of nonsense.  I made it through the smoking craze without more than a few puffs when I was out at a bar.  I was lucky enough to want to stick with beer most nights, so I never NEEDED a drink and became an alcoholic.  And even when the whole tripping on cocaine thing started, I missed that because I'm afraid of needles.  Plus, I HATE being out of control, so no drugs for me.

But this...this is something else entirely.  And I just may not make it through this one.  I mean, why didn't I understand?  Why didn't I do the research before I started?  But it's too late now.  I guess the first step to recovery is admitting it...

I'm addicted to FACEBOOK.

Now you may all laugh, but seriously, I was never one to stare at the computer screen and then do the rabbit dance whenever it dinged to say I had mail.  I got to it when I had time.  And games on the computer were never my scene.  I remember going over and building some elf character back when all that first came out, but I was too busy wandering around in the fake elven woods admiring the fake elven trees and furry fake critters to go on any quests or fight any battles.  So as a warrior, I pretty much sucked. In fact, I'll bet that character is still wandering around in the forest gazing at all the fakery and doesn't even know I'm not there to move him around.

And when MYSPACE came out, I spent hours working on the page only to have them change all the rules, so I said, "Bloody Hell", did a basic page that links to my website and haven't been back more than a few times.

So when this FACEBOOK thing came around, I built a page, and touched base with it every once in a while, but I was so busy with other things I rarely hung around.  Yet when I settled back down here last month and started writing again, I decided I should make more of an effort on the social sites.  For promotion and networking, you understand.

But... O. M. G. people!  I find myself spending hours on there.  Waiting with baited breath to see who likes my status.  Scrolling to see if my friend request has been accepted. Checking out the ads to see if I can find a new cool place to visit here in my new hometown.  Finding quotes and videos to share with all those who are on my newsfeed.  And I can't believe myself.

Just when did I lose control?

While I was writing this I couldn't help going over and checking out what was going on.  And I even had to comment on an author friend's (AJ Llewellyn) comment that he had just inherited a gazillion dollars from Nigeria!  And when I scrolled down a little more, my friend Connie Northrop had put up a link to "Guys You Wouldn't Kick Out of Bed for Eating Crackers".  There was no way I could miss seeing those, so there was another ten minutes of my time used before I came back to do this blog.  So you see what I mean?  I'm sick, folks.  Just sick.

Is there a ten step program for FACEBOOK users?  How about the patch?  I don't think cold turkey will work for me.  I'm in too deep.  Maybe you can leave me a comment below on how to get out of this mess.  I'd be purely grateful. 

I know...  I'll do a post on FACEBOOK and ask for help.  I've got lots of friends.  I'm sure someone will know how to break this addiction.  It will work.



Anyway, see you all on Wednesday, that is if I'm back from the Betty Ford Center.  I hear that's the place to go when you want to break the worst of addictions!



Suzanne Johnson said...

Too funny! Sorry, we should have warned you. So now I'm warning you about something even worse, even more insidious: Twitter! You put Tweet Deck (or some other feeder) on your desktop and as you're "writing" hundreds of messages filter in each hour from other writers, agents, editors and book bloggers who are just as addicted as you are. It's hopeless. You can build an online author platform or you can be an author. I'm just not convinced you can do both!

CJ England said...

Oh God... Tweet Deck? I've just started out on Twitter and now you've terrified me all over again. I may never leave Betty Ford. LOL

Suzanne Johnson said...

Oh yes, TweetDeck (google it). You don't even have to go to the Twitter website...all the messages just pop on your desktop as they come in. *tears hair out*

CJ England said...

Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I'm utterly and completely doomed.

*bangs head on desk*

S.M.Bidwell said...

LOL. I know what you mean. I think it's because it smoother, like a conversation, and there's more interaction. Part of me loves it; part of me wishes I'd never started. I think I will avoid Twitter though. I'm going to have to be more disciplined and don't do enough promo as it is, but if I do more I'll never have time to write...not write and keep friends and family as well not go insane by having no time off.

CJ England said...

You're right, Sharon. It's a sneaky bugger, sucking you in and before you know it, you're hooked.

And if Suzanne has her way, I'll be addicted to Twitter by the end of the month.

Oh woe is me. Woe, woe woe.

Or is that Whoa, CJ... Whoa!!!!!

Phylis said...

Ummmm...I will be absolutely no help! *hangs head* I have been trying and trying to get my last yellow frog on Happy Aquarium and I can't stop. Even though I have missed twice and had to start all over again! I have 10 days left to get my second yellow frog and then I don't know what happens after that! *SIGH* I'm going to have to join you at Betty Ford. We can Facebook together! OOOPS! LOL! Recover together!

CJ England said...

And here I thought you were one of the sane ones, Phylis. Oh well, I guess it's two for Betty.

I wonder if they have internet there. I'm sure our *looks around and whispers* FACEBOOK friends will want us to update them on our treatment.


Unknown said...

Wait until you really get into Twitter!!! OMG!!

Sadly, for most of us, there is NO cure!!! But at least you're not alone...

Cassie Exline said...

Great blog. At least you didn't mention the dreaded "F" word -- Farmville. I've lost a few good friends to that place. (((sighs))) And I think they took the Facebook editing tools with them. Probably want to plant some new crop. lol Fortunately Twitter just annoys me right now. Let's hope I stay clean and Twitter free. lol

CJ England said...


I'm still so confused about Twitter and I've decided that I will take one addiction at a time.

God willing and the creek don't rise. LOL

CJ England said...


Thanks for the warning. I am constantly offered critters, hay and such from Farmville and now I know it's a dastardly plot to such me in too.

Bless you.