Where Are You Christmas?

Why can't I find you?

Why have you gone away?

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me?

Why can't I hear music play?

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Hey all,

This Faith Hill song really sums up how I'm feeling about Christmas this year. As some of you may know, this is the first year I'll be away from my kids and it's been really tough on me. I can't bake cookies with my son, Jasiah, or watch White Christmas with my daughter, Jessaca. Or even kabitz with my oldest son, Jeramiah about what the best Christmas music is.

After twenty odd years of being WITH them, sitting in our apartment halfway across the world and not having them shaking presents under the tree (which they do no matter how old they are), it feels like a part of me has gone missing.  Even with Jonathon here--and he is the center of my world-I finally understand what my own mother must have felt like when I flew the proverbial coop.

I really miss my babies.

Christmas is a time of year where the family--or lack thereof--seems to take center stage. You have those people who roll their eyes about the cousins coming for the weekend, and you have those who wait expectantly by the door waiting for Grandma and Grandpa. But whether you are looking forward to the company or not, for most people the holiday season brings forth an outpouring of love, friends and family.

This year since we are going to be alone, we've planned something special to help take our minds off the fact I won't be making Christmas Eve dinner, or watching my kids and critters tear into their stockings on Christmas morning.  Jonathon has them both off, so on Christmas Eve day, we're taking a quick trip over to Hong Kong and visit Disney. Since we usually spend time at Disneyworld this time of year, we figure it will be a way to remind us of that time with our kids.

And then on Christmas day proper, we'll get up (not early...one NICE thing about being kidless  LOL) and once we've had our present unveiling, we'll head into town to see Harry Potter-Deathly Hallows.  We've put it off, once we couldn't make the first showing, so this will be a treat.   Then we plan to have a really great meal at the same place we went for Thanksgiving.  That may change if we hear of somewhere else, but that place (THE MGM) was awesome, so we can't lose if we have our Christmas tucker there.

Then we'll probably go walk around Senado Square and people watch while we walk off our dinner.  It will be a nice time, and if our lifestyle is going to be like this from now on, I guess I'd better get used to it.  But I have to say, right now I'd give all my teeth just to be able to see my kids on Christmas morning. 

But like Faith sings,

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too?

And I guess it does.  No matter how hard we'd like to have every Christmas like that most special one we might remember, it does change.  And rather than fighting it and wishing for something else, I'll try to be wise and understand that each Christmas is precious in it's own way.

Whether you are up to your ears in bows, wrapping paper, egg nog and cinnamon rolls and surrounded by family, or sitting on your balcony watching the ships roll in as you and your sweet baboo (or babette) sip coffee, open that one special gift and maybe get in a really good Christmas kiss.

Friday, I have Angela Kay Austin here to do a special blog on  networking and looking at goals for next year.  I won't be around to remind you, so please take a minute to drop by and say hi to her. 

But for now, I wish each and everyone of you a most joyous holiday.  Merry Christmas and let the light of Jesus' birth send you the sweetest dreams possible. 

Blessings,

CJ England

Follow Your Dreams
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