Monday, November 14, 2011

Update From CJ

Hello everyone,

I am so sorry that my health prevented me from being here over the summer.  I owe you all an explanation and was too emotionally fractured to do so before now.  I have the doc's okay to slowly pick things up by the end of the year, but I wanted to say something now.

Bottom line is that several things hit at once.  We moved from Macau back to the states where I got really sick and was put on bed rest.  Then, to add to that misery, when I went in for another checkup, I had my routine Mammogram done.  And it didn't turn out as expected.

Cancer is such a scary word and to add it to the other health problems I was having, plus such a huge move...well, I didn't handle it well.  And because Jonathon doesn't start his new job until December...NO INSURANCE.  Can you say OMG expense wise?  To say the least I had major stress as well as being sick.

We did another mammogram, ultrasounds and none of them came back conclusive.  They don't do them quickly, so I was stuck waiting to find out the results for long periods of time.  The constant worry exasperated my other health problems and all I could do was survive day to day.  Finally, we did surgery.  I admit to being terrified.

The thing is, I was pretty sure I didn't have cancer.  My gift told me I was okay, breast cysts run in my family, and I was 99% sure that was what they were seeing.  But I think because I was so emotionally and physically depleted, that little 1% scared the beejeezes out of me.

The final surgery was just a couple weeks ago and I am so grateful to say after all the worry, pain and desperation, it turned out to be a benign cyst and NOT the big C.  But it was an emotional and physical roller coaster of an experience I hope to never go through again.  It cost me almost six months of time where I was literally unable to do anything except wait for the next test to be read.

The scare of having cancer was huge.  I can't imagine actually getting results that said I DID have breast cancer.  I have to tell you, I'm a huge supporter now of breast cancer research.  While I tossed them a few dollars here and there before, now I am full bore, 100% behind them.  No woman should go through even a minute of the terror I did.

So, now that I am pretty much healed from the surgery, the doctor says I can slowly come back to life.  I figure I can pick up the reins to a few things, but other circumstances in my life are so up in the air I doubt I will be back online 100% until after the first of the year.

I hope to be more forthcoming in the next week, so keep your fingers crossed that what I need to get dealt with does so I can get you in the know.

BUT...  The good news is I've been dreaming up a storm so when I finally get to writing again, I'll have plenty of new material!  LOL

Take care all and I hope to be back on track soon!

CJ England