Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Let's Learn How To Talk Dirty

Hey all,

I was going to announce this on Monday, but with the news of the death of my Crikey, I decided to put it off until today.  As some of you may know, my boys are coming to visit us to celebrate the Chinese New Year.  They will get here tonight and be with us through Valentine's Day.  Because of that, I won't be blogging unless something major comes up.

But I don't want to leave you all flat for three weeks, so, since a lot of you are new to my work, I thought I'd recycle a few articles that were well received from a few years ago.  We'll  still have our new Friday guest bloggers, but my personal posts will be some of my favorites I've done over the years.

I hope you enjoy them.  And I'll be back live and in person on the 21st of the month.  Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I'll do the same for you.



Let's Learn How To Talk Dirty

As my readers know, I love to push the envelope of when, how and where to have sex. I have lines I won't cross, but, I'll hug very close to them. *snicker*

I came across this great site and got to cool it would be to put some of this into play. So I thought I'd devote today's blog to just that. Different ways to enjoy an activity we all love, love, love!

Talking Dirty

Have you wanted to unleash that wild side of yours through dirty talking, but haven’t found the courage, or don’t even know where to start? I know for me, this is an activity I've longed to try, but been too embarrassed to do so. I think it's easier for a guy to do, since my hot hunk doesn't seem to have a problem with naughty words and he's on the shy side.  I've read there are several secrets to talking dirty, and I thought I'd share a few with you today.

1. Create the Mood
We aren't looking for romantic here, but naughty. And that is as different as the people who are involved. Find something that sets your soul loose. Whether it be salsa music, or incense, a sexy nightie, or a glass of want to feel wicked, but still comfortable. And if it's the first time to do your dirty talking, it's even more important for both you and your partner to feel good about yourselves.

2. Breathe Correctly
Knowing this skill makes the difference between sounding like a #1 phone sex operator, and a teenager making a obscene phone call. Just like sex, your breathing should reflect the mood. Start with deep breathing, filling your lungs and then exhaling slowly. Then, give a few gasps, always punctuating that with either a few moans or body moves. If the mood suggests hot and heavy, go with it. Those gasps and sighs will become quicker, more out of control sounding. Don't be afraid to mix them up and see what you and your partner like.

3. Adding More Sounds
Now we go a little further. Think of yourself as an actor in a play. You want your mate to hear you, but it still has to have that breathy, sexy sound that will send shivers up their spine. So practice. I've been known to do so in the shower when I know I'm alone. Soft sexy sounds said as a low murmur, way back deep in the throat. Not all of us have a Marilyn Monroe voice, but we can learn to have that sexy voice that can send out partner wild with passion.

4. Add Body Movements
And now the fun really begins. Use your body language to punctuate the sexy sounds you're making. A brush of the lips over the ear, a slow rub of the breasts against his chest, the run of a finger down that line of hair that disappears under his shorts, all in perfect timing with the breathing and sexy sounds you've been making. Done correctly, these move are a promise of what is yet to come and will be a huge turn on for your playmate. you can see, just the preliminaries can be fun and we haven't even started talking yet! *LOL*

Talking Dirty Pt. 2

Now that you and your partner are in the mood, it's time to put the final touch on your dirty talking presentation. Remember what you've learned so far and then step into some extra fun.

Think about what turns you on about your partner. How are you feeling right now? Get in touch with your emotions and feelings and let your instinct carry you along. If you're feeling horny, say so. If your partner makes you hot, tell them. Be vocal and descriptive, but don't be too descriptive. It isn't an essay. Your goal is to turn your partner on. Short clear sentences are best. Long quivering breaths in between shorter sentences can be a real turn on. And if you add a little nip on the neck or a lick of the ear as well, I'll bet you raise a few goose bumps too!

Next, think about what you want your partner to do to you. Do you want to be spanked? Do you want your nipples squeezed, or do you want a blow job? This is the time to bare all those naughty fantasies. Tell them what you want. Again, break up the sentences with those breathy sounds to add to the titillation. Plus, the break between helps you think of what you want to say. Don't be intimidated. Enjoy yourself, and let your mind and body go. For example a sentence like... "I just want to f**k you until you can't walk (inhale) I want to lick your c**k until you ( inhale, quiver exhale, inhale) explode all over me.

Then you can add to the fantasy by targeting specific things. Choose those things you know will be a turn on to you and your partner. Repetition is used to emphasize the really important things. And be aware of what is happening to your partner. Is his body tightening underneath you? Is his erection getting harder. Are her nipples getting small and hard. Reading the body language is an important part of judging what is arousing to you and your mate.

And make sure you call a spade a spade. It' much hotter to hear... I want to suck your c**k, rather than I want to suck your manhood. *rolls eyes* Euphemisms rarely have a place in dirty talking, but be careful to use words that aren't offensive to your mate, either. If the word "pu**y" makes her furious, you're not going to turn her on, but off. Know what they like and don't like. That's the important part. And if you don't know, then explore carefully as you go.

Tossing out curse words can be exciting too. Saying you are a great lay, may be exciting, but adding a few curse words can rev motors even more. And here is where volume can also add to the heat. There is a time to whisper and a time to shout. Curses can be louder and so the emotion can be even more intense.
Another fun thing you can use dirty talking in is Role Playing. We won't go into role playing much here, but knowing your partner's fantasies and being able to talk them through one of them can be very satisfying. You can start with something as simple as a passive/aggressive role. One of you is submissive, the other dominant. Slave and Master. Cop and Criminal. Pirate and Captive. The list is endless. Once you choose your roles, then get into them. Again, let your fantasies flow freely and most of all...have fun. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree. 

It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you want to say and in the end satisfy everyone's wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible.

These hints are just suggestions, so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner’s feedback. And remember...practice makes perfect and don't ever be afraid to try new things. Variety is the spice of life!!!  And enjoy the practicing. *grin*   I know I will!!!


So tell me what you think.  Too much for you?  Or does it give you some fun ideas to try when your own sweet baboo gets home?  Let me know in the comments below!

I'll be back on Friday with a guest blogger.  Rie McGaha will share some of her world with us!

CJ England

Follow Your Dreams


Phylis said...

I've always wanted to say something but seem to be shy when it comes to that point. Got the sighing and moaning down. *grin* Have to work on the word part. Thanks CJ!

CJ England said...

Anytime. LOL I'm pretty quiet too. It's a stretch for me, but Jon likes it when I'm more vocal.

Hales said...

I feel silly talking dirty at home to make up for it I just throw out short thoughts. However telling your man your cock hungry shouldn't be done at the Inlaws for Thanksgiving dinner. Even if you thought you said it low.

Role playing is fun lol but I still have to work on being a nasty girl without feeling silly

Harlie Williams said...

It took hubby awhile to get used to talking dirty but now he loves it. LOL!

CJ England said...


I would LOVE to hear the whole story about the inlaws and talking dirty. LOL That sounds like a perfect scene for a book!!!!! If you're an author, you've gotta use it. LOL

CJ England said...


Good for you. I think it's always a work in progress.

PJ DEAN said...

This is the best. Readers and writers alike could use these pointers.

CJ England said...

*blows kisses* Thanks, PJ. I had fun putting it together.

Unknown said...

I wasn't ever able to do this. Now I need to find a guy to practice on! LOL

CJ England said...

LOL Connie.

There is always your pillow to start with. Isn't that the way girls used to learn to kiss? LOL

Anonymous said...

Wow, whew, and all that and more - great post. You bring up something thought about but not really talked about - and here we got our first lesson. Fun! Thanks for sharing CJ. I feel like I just got permission (tee-hee)

Shannon Leigh said...

OMG! I know exactly what you mean. I can write some sex that will knock your sox off, but when it comes to the real thing, I clam up. I love when my husband says things or makes any sound at all, it lets me know he's feeling good. But I have such a hard time saying anything myself. I want to, just can't seem to get it out. Oh I get brave every once in a while, but I wish I could be more vocal all the time. I know he'd love it.

CJ England said...

You're welcome, Kay Dee.

I hope the hints help you take that sexy first step... :-)

CJ England said...


I know what you mean. Here I write hot sexy romances and can barely open my mouth sometimes in bed. I've gotten better and writing out this blog actually helped, so I hope it does the same for others.

Christiane France - Author said...

Thanks, CJ! I think most of us "think" dirty better than we can talk it.


CJ England said...


LOL I think you're right. And in my case I take it from my mind and put it to the page.