Wednesday, March 21, 2012

So How About a Cup of Coffee?

Hey all,

Did you know that in coffee houses in Amsterdam you can't get a cup of coffee?  That's right.  And while you can smoke pot in one, you may not smoke a cigarette.  I have to say the rules are a bit screwy, but I'll bet they make sense to the locals.  LOL

So, let's talk about coffee houses.  As you may have guessed, a coffee house in Amsterdam is a little different from one in the USA, Canada, France or even Japan.  It's a fun and relaxing place filled with interesting people.  Okay, maybe not so different.  Except for one little thing.

The first time I walked into one--Hunter's Coffeeshop--I didn't know how to act or where to look. 

It was early afternoon, but the place still had quite a few people inside.  They were chatting and laughing, enjoying a beer and smoking a joint.  The air was thick with smoke--I swear you could get high just sitting at the bar.  It's obvious, they take their motto seriously.  Keeping the World High for 25 Years!

Now I only had a short amount of time (it was a layover back from Singapore to the USA), and I didn't want to get back on the plane smelling like pot smoke.  I could just see arriving back in the states and being jumped on by all the drug smelling dogs. *giggle*  Anyway, instead of smoking I decided to have a space cake, which is just a fancy term for a pot filled brownie.

I paid my money, grabbed my brownie and headed out to eat it by a canal.  It wasn't the best brownie I'd ever eaten, but now I could mark experiencing a coffee house space cake off my bucket list.  I've eaten brownies before--in the day it was one of my favorite ways to get high--so I know what to expect.  And I have to say I was disappointed.  It didn't do a thing for me.  I waited and spent the rest of the afternoon wandering and still nothing.

I thought to myself, oh well.  At least I tried.  Bucket list and all.  I jumped on the train and headed back to the airport to get my carry-on out of storage and catch my plane.

Well, I was standing next to my locker pulling my suitcase out when I noticed something odd.  My eyelids were kinda heavy.  I figured I was a little tired after all the walking I'd done.  So I put my suitcases on the table to pack a couple of souvenirs since I didn't want to carry them separately.

I happened to look down at my hand and thought, "Wow.  That's awesome.  All my fingernails are the same length.  And my rings are so pretty.  And..."  My mind drifted away to some really great daydreams.

Suddenly, I came back to the present with a start.  I looked around the small room and saw there were  a lot of people around me that I didn't see come in.  I glanced down at my watch and about fell over.  It was twenty minutes later.  Somehow I'd lost time.

I was now in danger of missing my plane.  Quickly, I finished packing, but I couldn't see straight and my fingers were all clumsy.  I felt...GREAT!  A guy walked by me and smiled, and I grinned back like a loon.  That's when it hit me.

I was bloody high! 

With my weird metabolism, it had taken several hours for the brownie to kick in.  Instead of the immediate high I was used to, I got this.  I started to snicker.  And everyone who's ever been high knows that once you start laughing it's almost impossible to stop. 

I giggled through locking my suitcase, guffawed during the walk to security, where I kept it to quiet chuckles just out of fear of being arrested for drug use.  I tittered as I raced to my gate and chortled like a mad woman as I boarded the plane.  And then, as the plane left the ground, I hooted in glee that I'd made it safe and sound.

It was the best flight of my life.  I slept like a baby.

So, as you can imagine, I'm looking forward to trying out a few more coffee houses around Amsterdam.  They are as common here as a sidewalk cafe is in Paris or a burger joint is in the US of A.  I'll let you know how it goes.

And if I become aware of my hand again, I'll have someone take pictures!

See you on Friday when the lighter side takes a trip to Advertising!  


Phylis said...

You gave me a chuckle for the day CJ! Delayed reaction! Wonderful. Can't wait till you have time to actually indulge! lol

CJ England said...

Thanks! LOL It was a memory, I have to say!

Ray said...

Good thing you didn't have to drive. Never had that experience. The closest I came was seeing God in a tree while recovering from a high listening to The Moody Blues. The house my friends owned was owned by an FBI agent and another agent lived in the house next door. The guys got the biggest kick out of telling everyone who partied at their house.


CJ England said...

LOL, Ray. The Moody Blues are worth seeing God over.