Monday, September 27, 2010

The Unmentionables - Sex Toys and Games

Hey all,

Today I thought we could talk about something fun.  Toys and Games. And no, I'm not talking about Legos or Chutes and Ladders.    I'm talking about the OTHER type.  You know...  *looks around cautiously*  Sex Toys!  

It's okay.  You can talk about them.  You can look at them on the internet or in that special toy store that sits just outside the country line.  You can even own and use them.  Contrary to what Sister Mary may have told you in school, even good girls and boys can play with them.

And why not?  If you can dress up sexily to please your partner--a new negligee or tight boxer shorts, why not take it the next step and add a little more spice to your relationship.

So let's talk a little about toys, games and the people who use them.

Most people know about the basic toys available.  Like vibrators, paddles, dildos and handcuffs.  There are as many kinds of those as there are people to use them.  Each is a little different and has it's own pleasure for the user.  You can use them by yourself, but in my humble opinion a toy only fulfills its true potential when used with a partner.  Something I enjoyed writing about in my books Don't Spank the Vamp and Don't Tempt the Phoenix.

Vibrators can be a wonderful experience when shared with a lover.  You can use them on each other to enhance your partners pleasure and add variety to the lovemaking.  If you use your imagination, a vibrator or dildo can do wonders for a stale marriage or perk up a new relationship.  As long as both partners are okay with it (and this is of utmost importance) anything goes.

Other toys like paddles, whips and handcuffs fall into what some consider a hardcore type of play, Bondage.  But used between consenting partners, these toys can be just as much fun as anything else.  Role playing is used quite often with these type of toys, and the added excitement of being tied up and submissive or totally in charge of your partner can make the final climax of the union even more pleasurable. 

And one of my personal favorites are games.  Dice, board games, role playing...all of them can make sex fun.  For some, the idea of laughing during sex is absurd, but giggles and gropings as you follow the directions on the dice you've rolled can show you a new side to your lover--one you won't soon forget.

And the more you play, whether it is a bondage game or the use of a vibrator in the shower, the more comfortable you'll be.  So start out small.  Buy that dildo and give it a try.  Order that Naked Twister game and see what your partner says.  But if you've never played  before, don't give up if the first time out you have trouble or are too embarrassed to finish. 

It's a learning curve.  And in some cases you are battling against years of good 'ol Sister Mary or Deacon Joe whispering in your ear that you'll go to hell if you try those toys.  And while each of us must follow our own conscience as to sex and how we live our lives, I firmly believe that what happens between you and your partner in bed, as long as it's consensual, isn't wrong.

So let me end today's blog with a list of toys that I myself or friends I respect, have used and believe can enhance the love play.  If I could find a link I added that as well.  Ready?  Here we go.  *Sister Mary, I think you should probably look away now*  *grin*

Rabbit Vibrators
Cock Rings
Anal Beads
Feather Duster
Nipple Clamps
Vibrating Tongue Ring
Sex Swings
Strap Ons
Adult DVDs
Remote Control Panties
Massage Oils
Love Die Game
Sexy Board Games
Poker For Lovers
Foreplay Connect
Lickable Body Paints
Naked Twister

So there are a few for you all to look at.  But I know those are just a few and I may even be unaware of some toys and games you all love to use.  So now's the time to let us know what YOU like to play with.  If you're embarrassed, sign in anonymously.  I'll switch it over for this week so you all can post that way.

Tell us the games or toys you use and give us a link to find them.  Or, if you haven't had a chance to try anything out yet, tell us the ones you'd like to try.  Inquiring minds want to know!  LOL

Can't wait to see what you come up with.  I'll be back on Wednesday with a blog about some other topic that's caught my attention.

Hugs to all,
CJ England  

Follow Your Dreams


Phylis said...

One of my fondest memories is tieing my husband to the chair and blindfolding him. Then I got to play with him. lol We have this furry mouse (and that sounds so weird but oh well) that we've used like you would a feather. Very nice. :} Sometime I think I would like to use one of those pillows that lets you do different positions. Would be good cause I can't kneel anymore. Phylis

CJ England said...

I've always thought a swing might help for we gals with knee problems. It's one of the reason Jonathon built em a cradle bed. We made it the exact height we wanted and it made it easier on both of us.

Phylis said...

That would be awesome. Was kinda hoping for a bench too. Wonder if I could get someone to build one without telling them what I wanted it for? lol

Karen said...

Funny that you, a writer, would mention sex toys. I've got a new website,, where I give three writing prompts every month for an erotica writing contest--and the prompts are adult toys! I think they lend themselves very well to a writing assignment...and there are a lot of products that people may not realize are available.

Guess what the prize is...all three prompts!

I don't really know why people have a hard time discussing toys...if you've been married for a long time, it's a far better option than straying...

You know what else is fun? Writing erotica! My husband loves it when I try to write erotica!

CJ England said...

That is so cool about the contest. I'm going to go check out your website. Thanks for commenting!

And I totally agree with the statement how toys can spice up a marriage and it IS a HELL of a lot better than cheating!!!!!!!!!!!